The AntiChristmas Tale
by Royal Court Jester
Summary: a story about Christmas and how the frontier gang want some toys and gifts you better read I'm not good with the summary rated T! Warning: this story will make you feel less intelligent, completed!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: hello people! Are you ready for a Christmas story!!??**

**random guy: NO!! you suck!!**

**I'll write anyway! So fuck you! By the way this is a short stupid story, contains stupidness, random stuff (the best!) and other stuff like Takuminess, a bit of swearing (I'll do my best for rated T) and other stuff, yeah...em...that's all R&R! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own digimon characters only the plot and...no only the plot**

it was a cold night of 1943 (don't ask why I like that date), the night of Christmas eve actually, a global celebration or most of the world celebrates it, the birth of Jesus Christ (an alien with powers!) this night most of the children around the globe wait anxiously for the next morning when they'll wake up, go to their Christmas tree and get their gifts brought by the big fat red one in person, Santa Claus aka Saint Nicolas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle or big fat-ass son of a bitch!! I hate you I hate you I hate you!!!!....ahem! Let's continue hehehe

this is know by everyone that the good kids gets toys and the bad kids get charcoal or something awful this was the case for Takuya, every year he receive charcoal from Santa no matter what he do or how good he was all the year (or so he thinks he was good)

_flash back!_

An old lady was waiting for the bus on a corner and Takuya was passing by and saw the old lady

"this is my chance to be a good kid" the brunette thought

Takuya approached to the old lady and grab her by her arm

"what are you doing my boy!?" the old lady asked

"I'm helping you to cross the street what else?" Takuya said dragging the old woman to the middle of the street

"but I'm waiting for the bus!" she replied

"ha-ha-ha good one, now lets end this" Takuya said

"I tell you to leave me alone punk!" the lady hit Takuya's head with her umbrella

"ouch, ouch, ow knock it off you hag!" Takuya said

"oh no you didn't!" the hag I mean the old lady hit more harder the head

"oh stop it, enough!" Takuya punched the old lady on the face, once on the ground he kicked her on the ribs and dragged her all the way to the other side by her hair or was left of it and dropped her on the corner

"there! You are on the other side happy!?"

"screw you kid!" the hag said, blood gushing from her nose and a lot of bruises on her body

"what!? You ungrateful hag bastard!" Takuya kicked her again on the ribs until a police detain him

_end of flashback!_

Yeah Takuya was a good kid but for some reason Santa didn't saw it that way, that fat bastard, selfish son of a bitch! So this year he'll not going to sleep until he see Santa who always brings him charcoal and toys to his little brother Shinya, after writing his letter which contains a lot of toys and stupid things, he sat on his dad's couch near the extinguished fire of the chimney, waiting patiently for the fat man...with a shotgun.

_Zoe's house!!!!_

the blond was writing her letter to Santa, she was a good girl, loved by everyone but despite all the toys she receive from Santa and her family those things mean nothing to her, she want to be...read her letter

_dear Santa_

_I thank you for all the gifts and toys you give me the last year_

_all of them were great, but this year I'll like something more special_

_I felt something is missing in my life, I don't know what it is_

_if you can tell me or give it to me I'll really appreciate it_

_my big sister said I need a boy friend, but I don't know_

_there's a boy I like actually, he's kind of an idiot but it's so handsome _

_maybe my sister is right, also I want you to visit my grandma in the hospital_

_an idiot assault her on the street the other day, she can't recall his face she's so old now_

_to remember things, the police captured him but he managed to escape._

_Thank you Santa, merry Christmas to you_

yep she was a goody two shoes girl, she then went to sleep dreaming with that idiot but handsome boy

_Tommy's house_

Tommy was a normal kid with a lot of wishes, he normally receive charcoal too but his father, a rich man, always hide it and buy him all the stuff Tommy want without him to notice, Tommy was very exigent in his letters, every year another hundred of toys were added to it

_dear, Santa it's me Tommy_

_this year I want a machine gun in case of those Nazis came to my house_

_and a car_

_and a little brother_

_and a plane_

_and a GI Joe _

_and a horse_

_and a cowboy to teach me how to ride a horse_

_and the scepter of the Queen Isabel from england _

_and a new mother this one sucks_

_and a new big brother this one also sucks_

_and a new xbox 360 (damn those three red lights)_

_and a PS3_

_and a Nintendo Wii_

_and a PSP_

_and a Nintendo DS lite_

_and another PS3 just in case_

_a videogame_

_and a...._

**this takes a while so I'll end this chapter for now, tell me what you think  
also thanks to Deemci for your review on Beauty of insanity but I'm afraid I don't fully understand what you mean, do you like it? Do you hate it? It disturbed you? **

**If anyone can take a look at it and tell me please write it on your review**

**see ya and stay tunned, hopefully this story will end before christmas and yes this story may cause you be less intelligent before you read it and hate Santa(not really) well bye people **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello people I want to update sooner but I'm a lazy person and easily distracted and*a fly appears at my side* oh...don't be shy...I wont hurt you all I want is your life!**

**Zoe: okay he's a little busy so enjoy this new chapter**

**Lives! Lives!**

**Zoe: oh and don't ask how Tommy could ask for a PS3 in 1943 neither Jester knows how Tommy do that**

and I want a dog

and I want a cat

and I want a catdog

Looks like Tommy hasn't finished his letter so we better move to the next house

_the Minamoto and Kimura house_

there was Kouji, looking by the window,

Every idiot down in idiotville Liked Christmas a lot…  
But Kouji, Who lived just north of idiotville, Did NOT!  
Kouji hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!  
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.  
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.  
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.  
But I think that the most likely reason of all,  
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.  
Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes,  
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the-*someone got hit with a brick*

"enough Kouichi! I'm not the grinch and stop reading it by the way" Kouji said taking another brick

"ouch! I just want to be nice and make your day, jeez you're such a grinch" his twin said

"I hate christmas and what!? All that noise, kids playing making more noise! The noise, the noise, the noise!" Kouji yelled

"well sorry not everyone can be an emo who hates christmas, I like christmas even if don't get a great present, I like to be with my family and-" Kouichi was cut off

"nonsense! That's for stupid people, I asked for razors last year and what he gave me? Bandannas! More bandannas! I have a lot already!" Kouiji said and open the closet were a mountain of bandannas fell over the twins

"okay I get your point but that's no reason to hate christmas" Kouichi said

"of course it is, that's why I plan to ruin everybody's christmas this year, I'll rob their houses and burn them too! Mwuahahahahahaha, mwuahahahahahahahha"

"SHUT UP!"

"sorry dad, as I was saying I'll rob the houses and everybody will be sad as me" Kouji said with an evil grin

"you seem pretty happy for me" Kouichi said

"shut up! I'm going now see ya tomorrow" Kouji said making his way to the door

"wait! I'm going with you" Kouichi said

"what? You're going to stop me isn't!?" Kouji asked

"nah....I could care less for what happen to other people but Mom will kill me if something happen to you" Kouichi said taking a bag full of....full of...I don't know full of things that will surely be of great help for the twins

_back to Tommy's house_

and I want a karaoke

and I want a monkey who sings in the karaoke

and I want Hitler come to my room and sings the cucaracha in german

and....

okay we better go to another house

_J.P.'s house_

there was J.P. Sitting on the floor writing his letter to Santa, the big boy only have one thing on his mind...chocolate

_dear Santa it's me J.P._

_Thanks for the chocolates of the last year, they were delicious_

_but now I want a chocolate of each type of the world_

_I want black chocolate from Mexico_

_I want chocolate from the U.R.S.S _

and the list go on, pure chocolates...I want chocolate too! Well looks like everybody had plans for this holidays, lets see how the twins are doing

"okay Kouji what house first?" Kouichi asked

"that one, the big yellow one!" Kouji pointed a house full of lights very full of...christmasness, Kouji proceed to rip the lights out of the walls, he climbed to the roof and enter from the chimney, Kouichi followed close behind only to watch and sing Kouichi sing with a big man voice while Kouji do his evil anti christmas doings

You're a mean one Kouji  
You really are a heel  
You're as cuddly as a cactus  
You're as charming as an eel  
is Kouji  
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel

You're a monster Kouji  
Your Hearts an empty hole  
Your brain is full of spiders  
You've got garlic in your soul is Kouji...

"knock it off Kouichi! You're annoying me, how many times you watched that movie?" Kouji asked crawling like a snake stealing the gifts that Santa has already leave there

"fifty times just this morning(and proud)" Kouichi answered

"weirdo, now help to pack all this things on that bag of yours" Kouji said taking some gifts and other objects

"okay, I'll open my bag of the fifth dimension!" Kouichi said and open his bag of the fifth dimension! And a black hole sucked all the presents into the bag

_back to Takuya's house_

Takuya was still sitting on the couch next to the chimney, rubbing the shotgun like it was some pet

"I'm not gonna sleep until Santa shows up, I'll never sleep until I get my revenge" Takuya said

_two minutes later_

"zzzzzzzzzzz" Takuya fell asleep hugging the shotgun like it was a teddy bear

"HOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOO"

"what was that!?*boom*" Takuya wakes up with the typical laugh of the red fat one and shoot to the ceiling, he noticed a lot of presents in his house and a piece of coal on his lap

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO damn you Santa!" Takuya cursed

suddenly a pair of black haired boys fell from the chimney

"ouch idiot! Told you to not push me so hard" Kouji said

"hey it wasn't my fault, I got scared from that shot!" Kouichi said only to see Takuya aiming them with his shotgun

"who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house?" Takuya asked

"well we are.."Kouji was interrupted

"I know! You're elves who help Santa isn't!? I'll kill you instead of him then!" Takuya prepared to shoot

"what!? No idiot we are not elves we're here to ruin everybody's Christmas because we also hate Santa" Kouji said

"WE!? You hate Santa I'm only here to watch over you!" Kouichi said

"shut up! If you hate Santa then help me to capture him!" Takuya said

"and where is Santa anyways? Apparently he just came here for the looks of it idiot!" Kouji said

"who are you calling idiot!? Emo!" Takuya said

"emo!? You'll pay for this boy!" Kouji said and lunge to Takuya the too fight like cats and Kouichi grabs some left over cookies and watch the show, then he spotted Santa leaving a nearby house

"guys...guys! GUYS!" Kouichi said

"what!?" Kouji and Takuya

"I think I know where Santa is going" Kouichi said

moments later the three of them were heading to a house with the Santa's sleigh on the roof, they could see his fat ass trying to fit on the chimney, both Takuya and Kouji had a shotgun, I don't how Kouji take the other shotgun, he probably take it form the fifth dimension bag

"at the count of three we enter to the house, 1,2,3!" Takuya said and the three of them enter to the house, Santa froze with the surprise, he saw Takuya jump over the window (that he crashed first) and Kouji kicked the front door and Kouichi waving hand saying "hi"

"we got you now Santa!" Takuya said aiming at the happy fat man

"hohouuuu?" Santa said

"no more laugh for you fat-ass" Kouji said ready to shoot

"hohohouuuuu!?" Santa asked

"sorry Santa but they have shotguns and I don't have nothing" Kouichi apologize

"hohohohouuuuu?hohoho, hohohohoh!" Santa begged...or I think he did

suddenly a blond girl in pink pajamas came down to the living room, rubbing her emerald eyes and opening them very slowly

"huh? What is going on here!? Santa is that you!" Zoe asked

"whoo hoo hoo hellouuu lady" Takuya said scanning Zoe's body, however Santa take that chance to touch his nose and transform into a magical dust

"what!? No!" Kouji said shooting at the dust who was escaping to the chimney

Zoe and Takuya continued to stare at each other until Kouji slapped Takuya on the back of his head

"snap out of it dumbass, Santa is escaping!" Kouji said and followed Santa to the roof

"what!? Santa come back here you fat-ass" Takuya said also following Kouji

"what is going on!? Why are you shooting at Santa!?" Zoe asked

"I'll explain you later

"!" Takuya and Kouji Yelled

**okay that's the end of this chapter ans-**

and a tank a real tank

and a space ship

and an alien

**seriously kid how many things you'll be asking for this year!?**

**Anyway see ya later, I'll do my best to end this thing before 25 but well if not I don't care**

**and yes I wake up with the Grinch movie today**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay here's another chapter of this stupid story, made by a stupid person also know as me  
now....I forgot what I was about to say...dammit...I hate to forgot things**

Takuya and Kouji tried to hold Santa's sleigh but the red fat one kick them out of it

"HO HO HO!" said Santa and fly away from there

"come back here!" Takuya said shooting at the sleigh

"wait! Why are you shooting at Santa!?" Zoe said

"because he owns me 16 years of gifts!" Takuya yelled

"and he owns me a life supply of razors to cut myself!" Kouji said and Zoe was like o_Ô;

they ignored her and steal a car to follow Santa by ground but he was too fast

"it's useless emo boy he got away..." Takuya said

"no! There must be another way...if only we could fly too" Kouji said

"fly?...there's a military base near here, we can take a plane" Takuya suggested

"and they're going to lend us one just because we hate Santa?" Kouji pointed out

"you're right...Santa defeated us, he and his flying moosen!"Takuya said

"it's moose idiot not moosen it's plural and singular, and he flies with reindeer" Kouji

"with many reindeers isn't" Takuya said

"have you ever go to school or you're just an idiot?" Kouji said but Takuya couldn't answer, he was on his way to the military base, Kouichi and Zoe catch them up later, Kouichi explained the stupid intentions of his brother to Zoe along the way

"but why you hate Santa? I mean he only do his work!" Zoe defended Santa

"he doesn't do his work like he should, I'm a good person and he'd never give me nothing!" Said Takuya

"haven't we seen before?" Zoe said

"nope, I'll remember such a cute face before" Takuya flirted , Zoe blushed a little

"Takuya you can't even remember your own friends!" Kouichi said

"you don't know that dude" Takuya said

"Takuya...it's me Kouichi" the black haired said

"....." Takuya

"we going to the same school! I helped you with your homework!" Kouichi give more clues

"....." Takuya

"I'm the intelligent guy who always speak in class"Kouichi

"oh I remember you now, Kokiri isn't?" Takuya

"it's Kouichi!" everyone said in unison

"okay okay don't get mad at me, hey look there are no guards" Takuya said

they entered the in the military base, apparently all the pilots and soldiers were on party, drinking and dancing those old music with trumpets and all those old stuff, there were a lot of planes, some where for passengers and another were for combat, they spotted Santa Claus flying right above them and Takuya take the first plane he saw a P-47 with dual machine guns and cannons

"wait Takuya! I can't allow you to take down Santa" Zoe said grabbing him by his arm

"why not? He owns me!" Takuya said and yanked his arm

"wait for me Kanbara!" said Kouji and board the plane too, closing the cabin and starting the engine

"hey don't go! Leave Santa alone!" Zoe said

"don't worry we'll catch them up in another plane" Kouichi said looking for another plane "let's ask to that guy over there"

they saw a fat person, it was tall and white and had wooden pipe....okay it's Frosty the snowman but he seemed to smoke other thing more powerful than tobacco

"hey Frosty can you help us?" Zoe asked

"of*cough* of*cough* of course lady hop on my plane" said Frosty

"but we haven't tell you why we need your help" Kouichi said

"I don't care I just want to*cough* leave this place at once" Frosty said opening the doors of his plane

he started the engine and and they spotted Takuya and Kouji already in the air

"quick Kanbara we must catch that fat bastard!" Kouji said

"I know!" Takuya said positioning the plane right behind Santa's sleigh

"hohoho?" Santa said

"this is far you get Fat-ass!" Takuya said and fired a lot of bullets against him

Santa tried to dodge most of them, one of his reindeer was shot down but it wasn't that important (don't worry it doesn't die they were cybernetics)

"HO-HO-HO!" Santa said angry

"you're have lost oldie!" Kouji mocked, but Santa trowed at them a lot of explosive gifts

Takuya tried to dodge them but the explosions were too big to get out of the blast radius, he lost control of the plane, besides Takuya was a horrible pilot, then like a miracle they gained the control again, just when they were about to shoot down Santa, Rudolf the reindeer who lead the sleigh made a U turn and appeared behind the stupid and the emo

"what are you gonna do Santa? You don't have weapons" Takuya mocked but suddenly (I like that word haha) Rudolf's nose begin to glow redder and redder and fired a red beam against the p-47, Takuya barely dodge it

"mother of God! That crazy reindeer tries to shot us down!" Takuya said

meanwhile not very far from there, Frosty's plane was already in the air and they can see the red beams of Rudolf in the distance

"what is that!?" Zoe asked

"those are the red beams of Rudolf the reindeer, your friends must be really serious if they pushed Santa this far" Frosty said

"It's so cold here, can you turn the heat please" Kouichi asked

"of course" Frosty said

they catch up with with Santa a little while Rudolf continued to fire at the pair of stupid boys

"do something Kouji!" Takuya

"me!? You're the one who's piloting this thing YOU do something!" Kouji retorted

however it was too late, Rudolf have already aim with his cyborg abilities

_inside Rudolf's head_

_target: acquired_

_No. targets: 2....a stupid hot-shot boy, an emo boy_

_current objective: scare them_

_new objective....terminate_

_password: S-A-N-T-A....confirmed_

_beginning termination_

_normal view_

Rudolf fired a last big red beam cutting the both wings of the P-47 the plane fall spinning around leaving a trail of fire and smoke "HOHOHOHOHO" ]Santa mocked and fly away, in Frosty's plane Zoe and Kouichi watched in horror how Takuya and Kouji fell

"Frosty we must help them!...Frosty?" Kouichi said but the snowman couldn't answer anymore 'cause his own kindness was his doom he...he...melted! Only his ugly hat was left on a pool of water

"Zoe?" Kouichi

"yes?" Zoe

"you know how to control this thing right?" Kouichi asked

"eh...nope" Zoe

"I suppose making planes with paper doesn't count either..." Kouichi

"damn" both said and their plane began to fall too

**okay now this chapter wasn't that funny but the next one will be, want a tip? Sieg Hail! That's it that was the tip, so tell me what you think and if you want you can suggest do it whatever you want ,Review please and have a brownie **

**PS. by the way Tommy is still making his letter bye people**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: hello, here's another chapter so enjoy btw for some reason I don't follow my own plot (too high to remember) so if you see something that just don't fit in the story well....God did it!**

If you remember, the last chapter everybody on plane well fell down possible to crash down on a possible on a Nazi controlled Europe yeah that was a long long long flight but looked like a fifteen minutes of flight anyway lets see how the pair of Santa heaters are doing

"where are we?" Takuya asked

"I don't know...looks like another country that's for sure" Kouji

"this sing here says _ kommen Sie heraus, oder wir werden schießen (get out or we'll shoot) _must be Spanish, I know we're in Mexico!" Takuya said, and Kouji slap his forehead

"it's german idiot! We're probably on an german occupied country" Kouji

"oh german occupied country what a nice place to be" Takuya

"ah german Nazi occupied country!" Kouji

"oh well that isn't that good" Takuya

suddenly two soldiers on a jeep came to investigate the crash site, they point their guns at the two and give them orders

"wer sind Sie? was tun Sie hier?" (who are you? What are you doing here?) a tall soldier said

"sorry we can't understand you" Kouji said

"sie sprechen Englisch! sie müssen Amerikaner sein!" (they're speaking english they must be americans) a short soldier said

"shut up Kouji I'll handle this" Takuya said

"you know how to speak German?" Takuya

"yeah it's easy just look...ahem...Ihre Mutter stinkt wie ein Stapel nach dem schmutzigen Saugen und Scheiße" (your mother stinks like a pile of dirty socks and crap) Takuya said

"wie Sie herausordern, meine Mutter zu beleidigen!" (how dare you to insult my mother!) the short soldier said

"what did you tell him, he doesn't sound too happy" Kouji said

"I just ask him where's the toilet, I wanna go you know to the number 2 you know" Takuya

"aber Ihre Mutter stinkt wirklich wie Scheiße" (but your mother really stinks like crap) the tall one said

"jetzt sind Sie mit ihnen! meine Mutter stinkt nicht ist das Haus!" (now you're with them! My mother doesn't stink is the house!) the short one with the smelly mother said and begin fighting and shouting more things in german

"what are they saying?" Kouji

"something like the beer it's not good here and the toilet it's dirty" Takuya

"we better go while they fighting" Kouji said

"okay" Takuya

both run for their life to a place to hide, they got three options, an abandoned house were nobody would never look, a nearby British army base (which had a lot of planes) or a bar filled with Nazi officials, SS V.I.P. And gestapo officers

"which one Takuya?" Kouji said

"mmmm...the bar sounds good" Takuya

"I got a bad feeling about this" Kouji had no election since despite the stupidity of Takuya he was the closest german translator he had available  
they went to the dangerous bar, they entered trough the back door, what they saw leave them with their jaws open it wasn't a normal bar it was a cabaret with adult entertainment

"Takuya! What are we supposed to do here!?" Kouji

"we'll steal the car of one of those guys so we can drive without being pursued" Takuya had a plan, a very smart plan, I mean WTF? Takuya got a plan! I smell something like a brain is burning or something

"okay but how we do it?" Kouji

"you'll disguise as a woman who dance and sings, you'll take the keys of anyone and then leave I'll wait for you in the backstage" Takuya

"wait a minute why me!?" Kouji

"well you look like a girl actually, I mean the long hair, the nice ass" Takuya

"what!? How is that, I have a nice ass!?" Kouji

"well with those emo pants...and a while ago when you tied your shoes well I was about to smack you on the ass but then I remember that it was you and eww^_^" Takuya said scratching the back of his head

"you're weird" Kouji

"yeah I know now put this dress and this melons on your chest" Takuya said

a moment later, Kouji was wearing a red long dress, those dresses of the old cartoon movies, where a wolf does crazy things and all those stuff cuz he likes the girl in the dress anyway Kouji use some make up and leave his bandanna with takuya, and enter to the scenario covering his face with a hand-held fan

"he Blick dass heißes Küken" (hey look at that hot chick) an SS officer said

Kouji made his way to the most decorated of the officers, the one with most medals, he do some dancing in front on him, Takuya tried to not laugh while watching, the officer do some nasty expressions with his tongue, and Kouji only smiled covering his face with the fan, then the officer pulled him to his lap and squeezed his butt hard

"watch it!" Kouji yelled

the officer tried to kiss Kouji but he evaded his multiple attempts with the fan

"enough" Kouji yelled and rose from the horny officer's lap and sadly the two melons on his chest fall, all the Nazis aimed at Kouji and the horny officer was furious...they were screwed

_Zoe and Kouichi_

well they don't crash actually they were saved by...em...superman yeah superman save girls from dying

"bye superman!" Zoe and Kouichi said waving their hands

"to the infinity and beyond!" lol what!? O_o;

"what do we do now?" Kouichi asked

"the only way to find Santa now is in the north pole, I suppose Takuya and your brother will be there sooner or later" Zoe said

"speaking of Takuya I found this letter in your house" Kouichi

"*gasp* did you read it!?" Zoe

"part of it" Kouichi

"how dare you! Stalker nosy person!" said Zoe kicking Kouichi on the face

"wait-Zoe-ouch! I know who assaulted your grandma!" Kouichi

"who it was!?" Zoe asked pressing her foot on his chest

"it was Takuya" Kouichi

"WHAT!? O_O!!!!!!!!" Zoe yelled

"yeah it was him" Kouichi

"I'll kick his ass so hard he'll kiss the moon!" Zoe yelled and drag Kouichi by his foot to the next parking lot

"Zoe I also know you like Takuya hehehe" Kouichi said and Zoe blushed

"I-I- don't like him not anymore" Zoe said

"oh but you use to like him then, c'mon don't be shy, do you really going to kick his ass when you see him?" Kouichi

"I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!"Zoe said with a demonic voice

"okay" Kouichi said frightened and in a tiny like mouse voice

_back to Kouji and Takuya_

a big truck with bullet holes and weird sounds like it was about to crack was circulating by the forest until it stopped, the driver tried to start the engine again but it doesn't work, the driver came out of the truck along with his partner, it was Takuya and Kouji dressed like squirrels

"that was an amazing escape Kouji!" Takuya said

"yeah I like the part when the flying pig with the flamethrower in his nose pursued us" Kouji

"yeah and that Nazi ninja with the flying swastikas, was great but now what? We lost track of Santa" Takuya

"we better go to the north pole and wait him there, I may have not ruined everybody's christmas this year but Santa wouldn't be here the next one mwahahaha-gah!" Kouji laugh but it was cutted of by a hit in the nuts

"yeah, Kouji are you alright? Why you stopped laughing?" Takuya then saw a wooden fist in Kouji's nuts then the fist retracted to the owner of the arm, it was a tall person, it looked like a soldier but an old one, the darkness covered his face then he approached to the light revealing his face, he was...the Nutcracker! (haha I could resist it the nutcracker who cracks nuts)

"I'm the Nutcracker, Santa hired me to take care of you, prepare to feel the pain of my 238 techniques to crack nuts!!!!" the wooden gigantic toy said "technique number 45, flying fist of thunder!" a flying fist in the air fell down directly to Takuya's nuts at light speed!

"OMG!" Takuya screamed in pain

"mwahahahahahahha" The Nutcracker laugh

**haha cliffhanger, notes before end this chapter, I do not speak german (neither takuya) I use an online translator, so it may be not a correct use of german, now it's 1943 so I'm not saying that germans are Nazis, but in those days most of them were Nazis, now any suggestion or complain send it via PM or directly to my email if you want (it's on my profile!) well Review please**

**oh and just in case I do not update tomorrow or friday well have a happy holidays (if you celebrate them) mine well my family celebrate them but I don't (I just go to eat) eww family reunions, see ya people oh and vote! Please it takes 5 minutes to do the test (or don't do it and choose whatever you want) **

Tommy: I finished!**  
what?**  
Tommy: my letter to Santa**  
too late kid! you'll not have any participation on the story now**  
Tommy: T_T I hate you**  
and my mother too but no one is crying for that**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: how are you doing people? Hope fine considering that Christmas has ended well enjoy  
I can't do this I'm not happy*someone gives me a shot of _Christmas spirit_* gah! I'm burning ahh..........**

**Zoe: uh apparently that shot was lethal to him**

**I'm not dead, but I wish I would*squirms* in the first...day...of...christmas....!!!!!**

"mwahahahahaha" the wooden giant toy laugh while Takuya and Kouji were in pain

"K-Kouji what do we do?" Takuya said in tiny voice like mouse

"I don't know...it hurts like hell!" Kouji said also in a tiny voice like mouse"we must run"

"you can't run from me the Nutcracker!" the Nutcracker threatened

they do their best to avoid all the attacks of the wooden man, he pursued them to a train station, it was very silent

"do you think he know where we are?" Takuya whispered

"no, but we better stay silent" Kouji whispered

"there you are! Technique number 108, rising earth dragon!" The Nutcracker said suddenly a pair of fist rose from the ground hitting directly Kouji's and Takuya's nuts again

"ouch you bastard!" Takuya in tiny voice

"mwahahaha mwahahahaha!" the wooden man laugh "now I'll give the final blow, technique num-" The Nutcracker was run over by a train that doesn't use the whistle! Son of a mother duck! That must be very unexpected and painful, however the Nutcracker doesn't die, to his surprise the driver of the train was Zoe and Kouichi who from being Kouji's twin well the Nutcracker mistook him for Kouji

"huh? I think we ran over on something" Zoe said

"I'll see if something stuck in the front" Kouichi went to the window only to be a victim of the technique number 80, the Kangaroo kicks

"ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" Kouichi screamed

"Kouichi are you alright?" Zoe asked

"my balls....are.,.ugh..." Kouichi fainted and his shirt saved him from falling of the train

"I'll stop you here and now!" the Nutcracker said as he climbed to the train

"Kouichi are you okay?" Zoe asked while she dragged him to a safe place

"my...nuts..." he fainted again

"who do you think you are hitting in a boy nuts!?" Zoe yelled to the Nutcracker who was already inside

"I'm the Nutcracker and I'm here to eliminate all Santa's enemies" the Nutcracker said

"he isn't Santa's enemy, he likes Santa!" Zoe

"no! He's the emo boy who wants to kill Santa" the Nutcracker

"that's he's twin brother" Zoe

"very convenient, I don't care I'll finish him just to be sure!" the Nutcracker

"just try to touch him!" Zoe

"as you wish! Technique number 1, simple kick in the nuts!" the Nutcracker said but Zoe's swifts movements helped her to evade the attacks, the nutcracker continued launching attacks technique number 34, 200, 156, 69 (no pun intended...ok it was intended ^_^) lastly he used the Ultimate nut attack but Zoe jumped over him "what!? NOOOOOO it's too late to stop my attack!" the nutcracker crushed his own nuts, but the attack was too powerful that he launched himself out of the train and reach the outer space

"are you okay Kouichi?" Zoe asked

"yeah...still hurts...lets move this train to the north pole" Kouichi

"right on"

_Takuya and Kouji_

"glad that crazy nutcracker go away" Takuya said

"yeah my nuts are glad too" Kouji

they headed to the harbor, to take a boat or a ship, Kouji suggested a small but speed boat they need to get to the north pole as soon as possible, so they hijack a yacht with family and kids on it

"we need more this than you" Takuya said

"but we live there!" the dad said

"can't hear you!" Kouji said as they were far away from there

"we'll be there soon" Takuya said

but suddenly a big old wooden ship crossed in their path, a black flag with a skull, horrible and dirty and nasty men were on board and a constant "arrr" could be heard

"what is that!?" Takuya

"pirates!? WTF" Kouji

"arr mateys! Get on board or prepare to die arr!arr!" a pirate said, the boys doesn't had another option their shotguns were lost and the cannons surely will destroy them, so they board the ship

"arr what are ye doing in this cold night mateys?" the pirate said

"we're gonna kill Santa for being bad with us" Takuya answered

"arr kill Santa!? You too!? Ye arrr with luck we too going to kill Santa arrrrr!" the pirate said

"why?" Kouji

"he never gives us gifts when kids arrr" the pirate said

"that fat, so evil and unfair!" Takuya said

"aye mateys, thy fat one is unfair indeed"

"hey Kouji, why is pirating addictive?" Takuya said

"I know I'll regret this but okay, why Takuya?" Kouji

"they said once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked *badoom tsss(that sound with drums after the punch line)*" Takuya joked but no one laughed

"Takuya that's stupid and I don't think the pirates like it" Kouji

"you kidding they'll love it here's another one, hey you what's your name?"

"it's Bates" the pirate Bates said

"There once was a pirate named Bates,

Who danced the Fandango on skates.  
He fell on his cutlass  
Which rendered him nutless  
And practically useless on dates!" Takuya sing but the song doesn't make Bates any happy 'cause the irony the song described his life

"arrr launch them in a cannon!" Bates said

"look what you done Takuya! Can we talk with your captain?" Kouji

"I'm the captain!" Bates said, the pirates take Takuya and Kouji and placed them in a giant cannon

"hey wait, Kouji do something!" Takuya said

"I'm trying but we are in the same cannon and I'm below you, by the way your feet stink like hell!" Kouji

"oh yeah? Here's something that really stinks, ggggaaaahhh hhhmmmmm*fart*" Takuya farted and smiled proud

"oh you mother-"Kouji

"FIRE!" Cpt. Bates ordered to fire, both of them flew like cannon balls through the sky

**err, I'll end the chapter here I'm tired haven't sleep well so there, kill me if you don't like this chapter hope the next one will be better  
well see ya later, hope you got all you want for Christmas fall sleep**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: hello people or girls to be more specific **

**Takuya: why girls?  
well from chapter 2 to now only the girls review this story, but I'm glad that even with my crappy English people from around the world read this story (which is crappy too) **

**Takuya: people like who?**

**I don't know their names but a lot of people from the USA, some from Canada, other from Singapore, the Philippines or las Filipinas, de Mexico (my country in case you haven't noticed), from Denmark, New Zealand, Ireland, United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, Australia, Chile, Portugal and Argentina!**

**Takuya: that's a lot of countries, but not all of them are girls**

**I know but rumors says that 80% of the authors/readers are female, okay I don't know why I'm talking about this anyway enjoy the chapter R&R please**

if you remember Takuya and Kouji were fired from a cannon and send them fly directly to the north pole (for reasons that are beyond of our comprehension) while the fly they could see the same train that save them from the Nutcracker, a strange music could be heard from it, a harmonica, it sounded like a blues or country music

"isn't that the train that run over the nut hitter guy?" Takuya

"yep, looks like it's heading to the north pole too, which reminds me, what are my Brother and Zoe doing? I haven't see them since Santa shoot us down" Kouji

"you mean the hot girl? Beats me but I'm sure of something" Takuya

"of what?" Kouji

"she's hot and looks like a good person" Takuya's eyes seem to be dreaming

"is Takuya _idiot _ Kanbara in love?" Kouji said

"w-w-what!? No hell no! I'm just saying she's hot" Takuya blushed a little

"yeah right then I suppose I'll ask her out" Kouji

"what!? But-stay away from her idiot!" Takuya said and tried to push Kouji but since they were flying he only touched it

"ha! I knew it you like that girl since the moment we entered her house and you stared at her!" Kouji

"I uh...I just look at her pajama yes her pajama was from a good designer yeah" Takuya's face was more redder

"uh huh right, but you'd like if she wasn't wearing it at all isn't?" Kouji teased him again causing Takuya to nose bleed

_Kouichi and Zoe_

the music was louder in the train, Zoe didn't know from where the music came from since she was driving it the only lead was the front of the gigantic machine, she climbed from a window to the front and she discovered the source of the country annoying music

"Kouichi!?" Zoe said, Kouichi was playing the harmonica in the front of the locomotive, sitting on the hand rail, along with some random people

"she's a blond girl!*plays harmonica like dundun dundun*" Kouichi sang "you need to meet her eyes*harmonica*"

"Kouichi what are you doing?" Zoe asked but Kouichi ignored her and continue singing

"she has good looks*harmonica* but don't let be tricked*harmonica* don't make her mad*harmonica*" Kouichi sang

"Kouichi what are you singing?" Zoe

"you don't want to meet her mad*harmonica* cuz when she's mad she's like a gorilla in heat!" Kouichi ended the song and the random people laugh and cheer

"wow Kouichi that was an interesting song, who was that girl who acts as a gorilla?" Zoe asked

"it was you Zoe*Zoe's eye twitches* you act as a gorilla when you're mad" Kouichi said

"I'M NOT A GORILLA YOU PEZZO DI MERDA!" Zoe said, by the way the last part was Italian

"mommy!" Kouichi cried at the kicks of Zoe

"and that's just a part of what Takuya is going to get!" Zoe said and return to the train

"uh...ouch..ouch...ouch" Kouichi stay on the ground

_Kouji and Takuya_

"Takuya I think we're losing altitude we better go to that train" Kouji

"yeah, I don't want to freeze in the cold water" Takuya

the boys tried to turn to the direction of the train but suddenly they heard something that make them crap their pants

"OINK!"

"what was that!?" Takuya turned his head scanning the sky

"it sounded like a pig" Kouji

"haha very funny Kouji a flying pig" Takuya

"OINK!" a flying pig pass between them at high speed and turned to see the boys

"whoa! A flying pig!" Takuya

"not only one, look behind us!" Kouji pointed to an entire flock of flying pigs

"oh my goodness!" Takuya yelled while dodge some of the (F=flying, I'm lazy)

"OINK, uuuuuoink!" a F. pig...err...shouted...cried I don't know I don't speak porkish

"I think they try to kill us!" Takuya said

"really!? You'd notice that already!" Kouji

"uuuuuoooink!" F. pig lunge to Kouji

"get off me, oh no I'm falling" Kouji was about to crash on the iced water but suddenly a flying monkey

"who are you!?" Kouji asked

"uh uh uh ah ah ah" the F. mokey said, then again I don't speak monkish

"they're my servants, I'm the wicked witch of the west and I know you want to kill Santa" the WWW said (WWW= wicked witch of the west)

"help!" Takuya said and a F. monkey help him to not fall

the monkeys fight the pigs in a battle full of blood and gore but since this is a rated T story I'll not describe the fight instead I'll see what Tommy is doing

_Tommy's mansion (yes a mansion)_

"Pierre! Pierre!" Tommy called for his butler (haha butt-ler)

"yes young master?" Pierre asked

"where's Santa? is 3 am and he hadn't coming!" Tommy

"I don't know sir, maybe he's delayed (you must be in the naughty list you brat!)" Pierre

"delayed my butt! Take to the north pole Pierre NOW!" Tommy ordered

"right away Sir (stupid kid, stupid job, stupid season)" Pierre

"I'll force Santa to live here as my servant and make toys for me all the year mwahahahahhahaha" Tommy laugh like a maniac spoiled brat, his butler prepared a plane, Tommy, the butler, the maid, the chef and another eight servants boarded the plane along with the three kilometers of wish list, what a long list kid!

_Back to Kouichi and the gorilla in heat*gets hit by a brick* ouch! I'm sorry...Zoe_

"hey G-Zoe isn't that a flock of pigs and monkeys?" Kouichi asked

"a flock!? Kouichi don't be ridiculous there's no such thing as a flock of pigs or monkeys" Zoe said and a second later an pig and monkey crashed on the window

"uh uh uh uh ah ah ah ah!" the monkey said while fisting the pig on the belly

"o-oink!" the pig bite the tail of the monkey

"what the hell!? There is Takuya and Kouji!" Zoe pointed to the sky

"hey guys, over here!" Kouichi yelled however Takuya and Kouji were busy trying to kick the pigs away

"stupid pigs! Ouch my hand!" Kouji yanked a pig away

"hop on the umbrella!" the WWW said and both Takuya and Kouji hop on but the witch was horrible and Takuya tried not to puke

"what is it?" The WWW asked

"um nothing, do you have a glass of water?" Takuya asked

"of course*a glass of water pop-up on the witch's hand* here you go" the WWW said

"thank you*glug glug glug* ahh, I don't want anymore, watch it I'll drop it" Takuya

"wait *Takuya soak the witch with the water* no you idiot, nO i'M mElTiNg, TaKuYa YoU AsShOlE" The WWW melted and now Takuya commanded the flying umbrella and monkeys

"what just happened?" Takuya

"I don't know but I'm glad it happened that witch was horrible!" Kouji

"monkeys! Attack those pigs I'm going to the train!" Takuya said and drive the umbrella to the train, but the pigs do something that nobody expect, they began to fire lasers from their eyes*piyoo piyoo (that's my laser sound)* one of the lasers hits the umbrella

"we're going down aahhhhhhh!" Takuya and Kouji landed or better said crashed on the coal box of the train

"Takuya, Kouji!" Zoe ran to help them

"coal? COAL!? I HATE COAL! AHHHHHHHHHHHH" Takuya screamed, the coal make him to remember all those Christmas he got coal instead of toys, but suddenly Zoe said something that make him snap out of his rage

"I'll kick your butt Kanbara!" Zoe

"hey whats the matter girl? Why the aggression?" Takuya

"you assaulted my grandma!" Zoe said rising her sleeves

"I haven't doing anything to your grandma!" Takuya

"in fact Takuya *whisper whisper*" Kouichi whisper to Takuya

"oh crap!" Takuya

"PREPARE TO SUFFER KANBARA!" Zoe said

"told you people she's a Gorilla!" Kouichi

**okay people this chapter wasn't that funnier (I'm not modest it wasn't funny really) but need to be done actually, they're very close to the north pole now to the final encounter with Santa Claus, oh I'd like to continue this chapter but I'm in my work building and my turn just ended and my father call me saying that the Internet is not working in my home (neither the phone I payed it so I don't know what's the problem) so I'll review/read/ answer PM and reviews until tomorrow (I hope) so see ya later people and review please**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: hello people thanks for the reviews that raise my spirit or what's left of it  
waaalooloolaaaaloooola!****Zoe: what was that?  
My stupidity moment of the day, sometimes I got like 10 in one day even more it can only be cured being smacked with a rubber chicken well...enjoy  
by the way Monkish is the language of monkeys nothing to do with monks**

in the last chapter, Takuya and Kouji were saved from a flock of flying pigs by the Wicked Witch of the West which for some reason she was very far from the land of OZ, after she save them she was melted by Takuya and his glass of water, who's to blame? Takuya? The water? Or the witch for giving him the glass in first place? Anyway they crashed in the same train as Zoe and Kouichi, now Takuya is going to be kicked hard by an angry (but hot) Gorilla I mean Blond no wait Zoe I didn't m-*got hit by a granite block*

"TAKUYA KANBARA! Why you hurt my beloved grandma!?" Zoe

"it, it was an accident I'd only want to help her to cross the street!" Takuya

"cross the street!? Cross the street!? She was waiting for the bus you half-wit! How you can call that an accident, breaking her ribs and other bones!? Not to mention the new phobia to the outside world she developed after that!" Zoe said grabbing a nearby plank

"no wait Zoe she hit me with an umbrella and-*Zoe hits Takuya with the mentioned plank* ouch! wait*bonk* ouch*bonk* stop it my head!*bonk* ouch! Takuya said while Zoe hit him with the plank multiple time on the head, untile she stop after 20 minutes of beating

"well I think Takuya had it coming" Kouji said with a smirk

"ouch, shut up, are you happy now?" Takuya said rubbing his head

"no! But I stopped because the plank is broken" said Zoe

"well Takuya I suppose that you don't want to kill Santa or whatever you had planed, now you're badly hurt" Kouichi said

"NEVER!" Takuya rose from the ground, however he doesn't look too good, all shambling like a skeleton "full speed!" Takuya drop more coal in the incinerator

"no Takuya you're not going to see Santa!" Zoe tried to stop him

"monkey attack!" Takuya commanded

"uh uh oooaaah!" the Monkey said, something like yes sir, yep I got a monkish dictionary

"ah help!" Zoe said trying to yank the monkey away

"uh uh uh uuuuuhhhh huhuhu" The monkey was, huh? Humping on Zoe's leg!?

"hey monkey get away! Stop it" Takuya ordered but the monkey didn't stop his animal...err...urges

"eww help please this is gross!" Zoe said feeling, ugh disgusting!

"get off her monkey! She's mine!" Takuya grabbed the monkey by it's wings and pull it away

"uh uhhhooooo!(you're not my boss man!" the monkey

"uh uh uh ah! AAAAHHH! (yes I am! GET OUT!)" Takuya said, yes he speak monkish, that doesn't surprise me actually, you know why

"uh ua ua ua!*slam floor with hands* (that's not fair is mating season!) the monkey said

"uuh!? Uh uh uaaah uaaahh! (what!? I don't – hey where's my dictionary) Takuya said

"what are they saying?" Zoe asked (no really who stole my dictionary?)

"according to this dictionary I stole from the author(so it was you!) they're fighting for you!" Kouichi said (okay give it back now)

"fighting for me!?" Zoe blushed at the thought of Takuya fighting for her

"yeah but there's no actual difference in any of them" Kouji

"what do you mean?" Kouichi

"both are idiot and horny" Kouji pointed out

"uh ah!" the monkey said, I don't know what he said SOMEONE! stole my dictionary

"your mom!" Takuya retorted

"uh uh uh UUUH!" monkey

"that's what you are!" Takuya said and so on, so lets go to other place this is getting annoying

_Tommy's plane near the north pole, that was fast_

"Pierre! Pierre!" Tommy

"yes Sir?" Pierre said

"I need something to kick! Take your position" Tommy said and Pierre was in four now his butt facing Tommy

"I don't know if this a good idea Sir" Pierre said

"who ask you?*kick in the butt* I need to kick*kick* to stay calm*kick*" Tommy said as he kick Pierre in the butt

"yes young Sir I-*kick* understand (I hate you kid hope you die in the next hour)" Pierre said and think, this is a pretty pissed off butler

"good*kick* are we there yet!?" Tommy asked

"no sire*kick* just little more" Pierre said

"damn!*kick* oh it's stuck!" Tommy

"yes sire...I've...noticed...(that's it kid! Next time I'll throw you out of the plane)" Pierre said

_back to Takuya and the others_

_Zoe: hey hows is that we're the others? We have names you know?_

_Okay okay, back to Takuya, Zoe, Kouichi and Kouji_

_Kouji: why I'm the last and Takuya is the first?_

_Grrr! Back to Kouji Takuya, Zoe and Kouichi_

_Takuya: hey I want to be the first!_

_Kouichi: and why I'm the last now?_

_Zoe: don't you dare to put me on the last place!_

_O_o;!? mmmm...back to the Frontier Gang! Happy?_

_Everyone: yeah!_

So Takuya and the horny monkey were still fighting this time with weapons stolen from the Star Trek episode: Amok time (No I don't watch star trek I only know the name of the episode cuz it has been so many parodies of the fight scene between Kirk and Spock hahaha so funny specially the song) the weapons were something like axes and maces at the same time

"uh uh ah!(I kill you Takuya and when that happens she will be mine and I share her with my other horny brothers!) yep the monkey said that in only three monkish words...hey I recover my dictionary

"that's gross man! Share her with the others!" Takuya said and the commentary made Zoe to uh...I don't know but her face was like O_O; with the sweat drop and everything

"uh ah!(time to die!)" the monkey swing his weapon (oh I find the name it's called Lirpa )

"just try monkey!" Takuya said and his Lirpa hehe sounds funny was cut in half by the monkey "oh crap" Takuya was weaponless and the monkey was about to strike Takuya

"Takuya NOOOOO!" Zoe said and step in front Takuya

**DUN DUN DUNNNN! What will happened next!? I don't know, but this is a cliffhanger which everyone will hate, seriously people look on google those star trek things you're gonna laugh specially if look on youtube  
Important (to me) notice: after a long search for my dog Camila a pit-bull who ran away for three to four hours I found her and hug her and kiss her, I began to write again ^_^ I wasn't sure if was gonna see her again but I'm glad I found her, well see ya later and Thanks for the support of all of you ^_^**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: hello people thank you for everything and to Veemontheruler thanks for the review but I don't understand something, are you telling me that rumors is rumours or you agree with the fact that those are only rumors? Sorry but sometimes it's hard to interpret what was the point (especially if you're me hehe) anyway hope you enjoy this chapter R&R please oh and sorry I'm very sorry for this great delay but you know all that christmas and new year stuff I hardly had time to talk with myself (yes I talk to myself louder) **

"Takuya NOOOOO" Zoe stepped in front of Takuya to receive the hit

"OOOOOOIIINK!!!" a flying pick knocked out the horny flying monkey thus protecting Zoe

"uh aaahhh (mother f*censored*)" the monkey drop it's weapon

"OINK!" the pig cursed...I don't know I trying to figure what are the pig is saying

"uh uh ah uh uh uh uh?(why you defend the humans?)" the monkey asked

"oink oink oink uuuuuooooink!" em...err something like, cuz I want to, yeah that's what the pig said

while the pig and the monkey fight to the death and a rich guy dropped his monocle in astonishment, Takuya who was still on the floor staring at Zoe who was standing in front on him also staring at his eyes, those chocolate yes and...(I feel pretty gay describing a man so I'll stop there) they ignored the fighting animals and their weird noises which were somehow annoying to the twins, they keep staring at each other their faces leaning closer and closer they didn't know what was happening Takuya couldn't take his sight out of Zoe's eyes neither her from his eyes they were about to kiss, the twins watched amazed by this almost impossible event, Takuya and Zoe's lips were very close BUT suddenly the fight of the animals pushed Zoe against Takuya but instead of a kiss their foreheads crash together

"owwwuch!" they said in unison, then Takuya realized that Zoe was on top of him although she was still thinking about the pain in her head

"Z-Zo-ZoZo-Zoe...can you please...get off...me" Takuya's voice was trailing of some tears where on his eyes, when Zoe realized what she was doing she quickly tried to stand up, Takuya's voice wasn't like that because he was shy or something nope it's because Zoe well had a knee on Takuya's mmm what's the word for a rated T story?....oh yeah nuts! Zoe was on his nuts, then she got up and Takuya seem relieved for this, Zoe's face was redder than Rudolf nose also Takuya was a bit red trying to see other things away from Zoe, the twins glanced at each other with tiny smiles on their faces they know what was going on, the fierce battle between the monkey and the pig continued to the next wagon, people screamed, others jumped off the train and the rich guy dropped another monocle in astonishment again (what? He got money to buy another one) Kouichi don't waste time and as soon as the mutated animals where in the next wagon he lifted the lock releasing the locomotive from the rest of the train leaving the pig and the monkey behind, you must be thinking where's the rest of the monkeys and pigs? Well Tommy's plane just fly by and well the monkeys and pigs get stuck in the engines of his eight engine rich people's plane, let's give a look of how's tommy doing

_Tommy's plane duh!_

"what the heck is happening Pierre!?" Tommy demanded an answer

"apparently our eight engines are filled with flying monkeys and flying pigs" Pierre the butler said

"oh...well...what are you waiting for?" Tommy said tapping his foot

"waiting for what sire?" Pierre looked confused

"I'm waiting for you to unstuck those monkeys and pigs idiot!" Tommy kick one last time at Pierre's butt

"but sire! I can't do that it's it's suicide out there it's cold and we're at lots of miles of altitude!(what this kid think I'am superman!?)" Pierre said

"I didn't say I care or how you do It, did I? Now GET GOING!" Tommy opened the door and kicked the butler outta the plane but he forgot to tie him with a life cable

"damn you kiiiiiiiid!!!" Pierre shout before disappear in the nothingness of the snow and wind

"oops, well good bye Pierre...any other volunteer?" Tommy said and everyone made like they didn't hear that "we're gonna die if don't remove those animals from the engines you know?" Tommy said but all of his servants thought it was more safe to crash in the plane than cast them self out of it and die in the engines "it's that so?" (wait you were listening to me Tommy?) "yep, now I offer a million dollar to anybody who clean the engines" Tommy offered a pack of money "anyone?...okay five million dollars!" Tommy's last offer....five million dollars!?*tries to break the fourth wall completely* no the five million dollars! T_T....

"sucks to be you author" Tommy mocked at my inability to break the fourth wall while licking the pack of bucks....I know! *types more changing the reality of the story* the plane suddenly got unstuck of it's engines and it followed its normal course, now give those five millions dollars kid

"nope you did nothing!" Tommy, what!? I saved you from a terrible death!

"it was your fault those monkeys and pigs were stuck in the engines in the first place!" Tommy retorted, you'll regret this kid!

"yeah how?" Tommy is asking how? Well kid I'm the author so here's HOW!*types again to change the reality* a mountain popped up out of nowhere and the plane crashed against it! Take that snotty boy!

"no wait aaahhhh!" the plane crashed and I don't care if hurts or anybody died!

"you don't care but it hurts you dumbshit!" a strange manly almost epic voice said and has pretty bad language! By the way who said that?

"I said it the mountain you created! Do you think because I'm made of pure granite the MOST RESISTANT OF ALL ROCKS that crash didn't hurt!?" the angry and creepy mountain "who re you calling creepy!?" ehem! Can I contiue with this damn story? "okay but I demand an apology" okay I'm sorry happy? "no! I sincere one!" *sigh* okay sorry mountain I didn't mean to offend you or making you hurt that bad... "thank you"

_meanwhile in the locomotive_

"what was that light? It was an explosion?" Takuya asked

"yeah it came from that mountain...that mountain wasn't there before isn't?" Zoe said and everyone shrugs

"I'd popped out of nowhere and I'm made of granite THE MOST RESISTANT OF ALL ROCKS!" the mountain said

"not it's not you dumbass! That's the diamond and yes diamond is a rock!" Zoe said

"but I'm made of-"the mountain was cutted

"shut up mountain! I don't want to hear it!" Zoe said

"waaahhh! You're mean I've only want some friends *sniff* you broke my feelings*sniff*" the pansie mountain ran away crying and destroying everything in it's path...you're so bad Zoe poor mountain...

"he had it coming it was annoying" Zoe, it was she by the way

"what? How you- I better not ask" Zoe said then turned his attention to Takuya who was amazed on how Zoe dealt with a mountain

"Zoe?" Takuya

"what do you want!? I'm still mad at you you know?" Zoe said

"eh well I- I'm sorry for your grandma...I'm an idiot some times(no really?) and-AAAAHHHH!!" Takuya said and screamed...screamed?

"Takuya are you okay?" Zoe asked a little worried, Takuya's face was pale and his eyes turned backwards

"my...my...nuts..." Takuya said and fall to his knees

"your nuts!?" everyone said in unison, then they noticed a wooden fist coming from the floor of the train, suddenly the hole grew more big and an old enemy came from it

"mwahahahahahahaha! I'm b-b-b-b-back! To reclaim your nu-nu-nu-nuts!" OMG it is the Nutcracker

**chapter ends here, sorry for the delay people I'll try to update tomorrow, please review and mmm err I got bad news, the scavengers is on hold until further notice I got some new ideas and I can't concentrate on it (and writers block) oh I was planning on changing my pen name Royal Court Jester is too damn long so I don't have any ideas yet but you can suggest (not Dark Jester it's already taken I think) well see ya later oh and tommy it's not dead...I think look he's here**

**Tommy: x_x**

**dance tommy dance...Tommy? Em see ya! REVIEW!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: hello I'm here again giving you a new chapter, thank you for all the reviews and suggestions for a new pen name except for you! Yeah you!  
Zoe: who are you talking to?**

**To my Doppelgänger! He's trying to convince me to kill myself!**

**Zoe: where?**

**Can't you see it is in the mirror over there!**

**Zoe: O_o; um better read the chapter folks!**

"mwuahahahahahahahaha*cough*" the Nutcracker laugh but something seemed wrong with him, he only had the left arm, his jaw was cracked and his righ eye was popped out and only a string of whatever he was made of, prevent the eye to fall

"I thought you were dead, I killed you!"Zoe said

"YoU cAn´T KiLl mE! I Am InVenCIble mwahahahahhhahahaahaha" the Nutcracker said with a strange tone of loud and low combinations except fot his laugh that seems the only thing that work good in him, besides the blue and yellow sparks coming from his mouth everything he speaks like a broken toy

"ow...my...ah...." Takuya was on the floor for the pain, the twins were scared and already covered their parts with their hands

"I'll get the job done before you can say iusewomenunderwearandiloveit!" Zoe said ready to attack

"isueWHat!?" the Nutcracker tried to repeat what Zoe said but it was confusing and he hardly could speak right

"roundhouse kick of doom!" Zoe shouted and kicked the head of the Nutcracker in a Chuck Norris style making it to spin around

"AAAAGAAAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAHHH!" the Nutcracker screamed trying to stop his head

"now....Zoe....kick him to the firebox!" Takuya yelled at Zoe while he was on the floor rubbing his...you know what

"HIIIIYAAA!" Zoe kicked one last time the Nutcracker's butt and send him flying directly to the firebox (you know where the wood or coal is burning)

"NoOoOoOoOoOo!" the wooden man writhed in pain

"good work hot stuff..." Takuya complimented Zoe

"thanks....um...how are you?" Zoe asked

"better, better, I guess I'll have children after all" Takuya

"oh!...um...I'm glad to hear that..."Zoe was blushing madly

"wanna have babies with me?" Takuya asked without noticing the awkwardness of the question

"W-What!?" Zoe said and her face was more redder than a baboon's butt, not to mention the twins nosebleed due to their perverted minds

"um...nothing, nothing, nothing stupid me stupid question..."Takuya said scratching his left cheek

"well guys I think we're one step closer to the north pole, look theres a lot's of lights over there" Kouichi said

_why Kouichi-kun is so lonely in this story!?_

What do you mean?

_Why I'm not with him!?_

Well you weren't required for this story and-

_and why the F*beep* I wasn't required!? I want to be with Kouichi-kun NOW!_

Get off me! You biyatch! Ow, ouch! Hey stop!*got smacked with a GRANITE rock* ugh......*unconscious*

_thanks pretty mountanin!_

"no problem Yuuko, you're my best friend besides that ungrateful author deserved it" the mountain said and walk away again destroying another town in the process

_now I can be with Kouichi-kun!*takes laptop from the good looking knocked out author*_

_dear reader from now on I'm in charge of this story not Jester! ME, YUUKO! Mwahahahahhaha*thunders and horses sounds*_

the train was more faster than before, like the Nutcracker magic do it more efficient, the train was faster and faster and suddenly it began to jump on the rails

"what it's happening!?"Takuya

"we're going too fast! We need to reduce the speed!" Kouichi said (oh he's so smart!)

"how we do that!?" his twin brother asked who is not as cool and handsome as Kouichi!

"we need to pull that lever! If only we could reach it!"Kouichi said (see? he's so smart)}

"I can't reach it, the train is too strong!" Zoe said

the train began to derailing and....OH MY GOD KOUICHI-KUN! What I'm gonna do!? What I'm gonna do!?*sees snowboard table and takes it* I'm coming for you Kouichi-kun!

"what are we gonna do!?" Zoe asked

"in my personal experience, in this cases....we're screwed" Takuya said

suddenly a hot snowboarder girl entered like a thunder into the locomotive, with no time to stop and look she takes the raven haired twin by the collar and then hold him like a baby

"you're safe Kouichi-kun, I'll never let you in danger again!" Yuuko the hot snowboarder said and leaned to kiss the twin

"uh thanks for rescuing me but...who are you?"the twin said

"what!? Oh crap you're Kouji!*drops him*I'm coming AGAIN Kouichi-Kun!" Yuuko turned her table in a 180° and rushed back to the derailing train

"you can't leave me here!" Kouji shouted alone in the snow then he heard a wolf howling "oh crap"

"Gotcha!" said Yuuko while she grabbed the right raven haired twin

"help!" Kouichi screamed but Yuuko and him where already outside the dangerous train

"ah Takuya!" Zoe said and hug Takuya tightly which caused him to smile like an idiot

"(YAY!)" Takuya thought while hugging Zoe back oh by the way I'm back Yuuko just left with Kouichi to somewhere

_in another place in the north pole_

"c'mon, faster, faster!" Tommy shouted to his servants, they where pulling Tommy's emergency sleigh like husky dogs, while he whips them "fast*whip* fast*whip"

"it's too cold sire!" a maid said only to get another strike with the whip

"I don't care! C'mon we must reach Santa's house before dawn!*whip whip*" Tommy said the entered on his tent which was on the sleigh making it more heavy to pull

"lucky Pierre, he died" a maid said

"what was that!?*whip* stop the chitchat keep pulling!" Tommy said from inside his warm tent

"hey let's ditch him put" another butler whispered

"how?" a maid asked

"there, up to that hill" the butler suggested

they continue pulling the heavy sleigh up to a hill as big as a 30 floor building then before coming down the servants untied the sleigh from them

"why we stopped!?" Tommy said coming out from his tent

"so long sucker!" the servants said and kicked the sleigh down the hill

"what!? You'll pay for this or my name isn't Tommy Fuuuuuuuuu......" the last part was inaudible but we believe it was a bad word for an eight year old kid but he's a brat so it's understandable

_in another location in the north pole..._

"stupid train, stupid snowboarder girl, stupid Santa, stupid snow, stupid pack of wolves lurking in the woods" Kouji cursed while walking on the snow, almost freezing

"what do you want!? If you're gonna attack do it then!" Kouji cursed, he only could see the glowing eyes of the wolves waiting in the woods

"...ckiiiiiiiiiing Himi!" a voice said, Kouji turned to see who it was and suddenly he was being pursued by a tent on a sleigh

"what the hell!?" Kouji tried to run but the sleigh was too fast and rammed him making him to enter the tent along with the spoiled brat

"who the hell are you a Christmas emo!?" Tommy asked

"I'll ask the same question who are you?" Kouji

"I asked first!" Tommy

"I'm Kouji and I'm here to kill Santa!" Kouji

"I'm Tommy and I want to know why Santa didn't came to my house!" Tommy said but the sleigh haven't stopped it's crazy course, suddenly the wolves climb on the tent chewing the leather walls of it

"aaaahhhhhh!!!" both screamed while more wolves tried to enter the tent even if the sleigh was still moving fast

_AGAIN in another part of the north pole_

"damn you kid....I'll get my revenge on you!" the butler Pierre said

"grooooaaarrrr" an animal said

"shut up Loise! Now take me to Santa's house" Pierre ordere to the female Yeti, who take Pierre in her arms and run through the snow

**well this is the end of this chapter, review and I'll give you a cookie and a hot chocolate  
see ya later oh and please suggest some new pen name, it can be with the word Jester not necessary an entirely new name, see ya later brrrrrr!  
stupid doppleganger! get out of my mirror! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: hello people, how are you doing? I'm not fine because I....I had done something terrible....**

**I had returned to college!!! yes I know what a horrible mistake but I change my career from an engineering to a bachelor or whatever is called in english, anyway here's the chapter and no Pierre it's not dead! He's traveling trough the snow with a female Yeti named Emma****Takuya: I thought it was Loise  
me: who cares, it's a Yeti, now enjoy! Or puke or whatever  
WARNING: super corny Takumi moment ahead read with caution (also anti Kouzumi moment)  
**

"_I'm in the wonderland! How happy I am!" Takuya said hopping like a bunny on a yellow road_

"_everything is fine! I like chocolate and I like girls" Takuya continued singing and hopping while eating a chocolate bunny ALIVE!_

"_Takuya?" a sweet voice asked for him_

"_who call my name? It could be the girl of my dreams?" Takuya asked to himself placing a hand on his forehead to see the girl at the horizon of the yellow road_

"_Takuya? Are you okay?" the girl said, while Takuya approached to her hopping like a bunny_

"_of course I'm fine, you're the girl of my dreams!" Takuya said and finally reached the girl at the end of the yellow road, she had blond hair and green emerald eyes, she had a with veil covering her beautiful face_

"_Takuya?" she said_

"_yes?" he was about to lift her veil, but this one suddenly turned black her hair becomes black too and her eyes become blue_

"_I want to slit my wrist!" the raven haired boy said_

"_AAAAHHHHHHH!!" Takuya screamed_

"get off you idiot!" a female but angrier voice said

"aaahhhhhh!" Takuya's screams looked suffocated for a soft place

"I said get off, you're un my breast!" the girl said and punched Takuya off her

"AAAAAAHHHHHhhhh...."Takuya screamed then realized he was dreaming and he was screaming on Zoe's breast, of course that made him blush and the mandatory anime nose-bleed

"you pervert! How dare you!?" Zoe said pressig her foot on Takuya's neck

"Z-Zoe! it....wasn't.....my intention!" Takuya apologize and tried to move Zoe's foot but it was useless

"not your intention!? It wasn't your intention touch my breast and press it against your face like an idiot!?" Zoe demanded an answer pressing her foot more hard on Takuya's neck

"I...um..." Takuya turned red a little and shrugged "they...were soft..." that commentary made Zoe to blush madly and let go Takuya's neck

"*cough* thanks*cough* for let me live" Takuya said trying to stand up

"don't get used to it and much less to touch me again!" Zoe yelled still blushed then she turned to walk to the north

"Zoe wait! Where's the train?" Takuya asked

"can you see it? It's everywhere, it derailed and crashed, we're lucky to be still alive" Zoe answered

"where are you going then?" Takuya asked

"to Santa's house, at least he had a transport to get back to my home" Zoe responded

"wait for me! Don't go alone you'll froze out here!" Takuya catch her

"it is your fault I'm here! If you haven't stormed into my house to kill Santa, who had already give me my presents by the way, I'll be in my home, with my family, eating turkey!" Zoe scolded the brunette

"hey don't scold me like that! Nobody asked you to come, I want my revenge and you had nothing to do with it, in fact you followed me because you want to stop me!" Takuya retorted

"yes I want to stop you because you want to kill my free annual presents, presents I earned for being a good person!" Zoe said

"hey I'm a good person too and he never give me something only coal! And he gives to my little brother all what he wants and he's a pain in the ass!" Takuya said, Zoe stopped a moment and then proceeded to walk again

"maybe he deserve it more than you, I doubt he could be more a pain in the ass than you're are" Zoe

"what!? I'm not a pain in the ass!" Takuya complain

"uh-huh sure" Zoe rolled her eyes, soon the snow storm began to increase it's fury, Zoe embrace herself, she only wear her pajama

"Zoe wait" Takuya said, he unbuttoned his jacket and get off on of his arms, he then cover Zoe with the other half of his jacket, it was a really big jacket. (take that Kouzumi!)

"T-Takuya what are you doing!?" Zoe startled when she feels Takuya's left arm embrace her by her shoulders, she turned red like the blood

"relax Zoe, we can share my jacket it's big enough for the too" Takuya said meeting her eyes with his

"um...t-thank you" Zoe said, then she place her right arm around his waist to be in a more comfortable position, this caused to Takuya to also turn red and tense but he relaxed a bit later and they continued walking through the snow "don't get any ideas Kanabara this is just only to don't die by freezing" Zoe said again (yeah sure Zoe), Takuya didn't replay but he was smiling like he had won the lottery (in fact he win it hypothetically speaking)

_in another part of the north pole_

inside a cave with a small fire

"what is it hun? Are you afraid of a woman's body?" Yuuko the crazy snowboarder who kidnapped Kouichi asked while she unbuttoned the short haired twin's shirt

"uh well I ah...." Kouichi was red as a tomato, Yuuko who was only in underwear and teased Kouichi sitting on his lap (by the way he was tied on a chair)

"you're a bit shy didn't you? Let me help you a little" Yuuko said and unbuttoned his pants and pulled them to the ground, she discovered a tent

"oh Yuuko? What are you planing?" Kouichi asked nervously

"oh don't be silly, you know what I'm gonna do..." Yuuko was on her knees know

"Y-Yuuko! ah..." Kouichi said and his eyes were turning backwards (I'll stop here this is a rated T)

_again in another part of the north pole_

"what are we gonna do kid!?" Kouji asked kicking out the wolves that tried to enter the tent

"how the hell I know you're the one who smell like fresh food!" Tommy the spoilage child retorted

the wolves rip off the tent and were about to bite them when a loud gun shot was heard, the wolves ran to the hills in fear (run to the hills!!! Run for your lives!!! *head banging*...ahem...sorry for that)

"are you okay kids?" a creepy voice man asked, tall as tree, fat like a cow and with clown make up

"ah! A clown!" Tommy screamed and hide behind Kouji

"what's the problem kid? It's only a clown...with a hunting rifle" Kouji said

"hehehehehe kids and their fear of clowns, come on kids get on the caravan" the scary unshaved clown waved a hand

"let's go Tommy...c'mon...what's the problem?" Kouji dragged the eight year old kid to the caravan

"NO! They're clowns they're evil!" Tommy tried to yank himself from Kouji's grasp by the time he could he was already in on the wagons, he began to shake

"take it easy kid, they're clowns, they supposed to be funny not scarier" Kouji said trying to calm the kid

"l-l-lies! Why they had those red noses!?" Tommy began to say nonsensical things

"hehehe kids...tell me what were you doing out here?" the tall clown asked

"we were.." Kouji was interrupted by Tommy

"CAMPING! Yeah we were camping out here in the woods" Tommy said, Kouji made a puzzled look but since he didn't know Tommy he decided to follow him in his game

"yeah but those wolves attacked us, thanks to you we're alive mister...." Kouji

"oh but where are my manners? My name is Crackpot at your service" Crackpot the clown introduce himself

"we're Kouji and he's Tommy" Kouji said "but what is doing a circus caravan here?" he asked

"we travel around the world this time we want to go to Santa's village" Crackpot said

"go to Santa's village? Why?" Kouji asked

"don't know, the author of this story couldn't think on something better" Crackpot answer (that author is an idiot....doh!)

"I see..." Kouji

_in another part of the north pole_

*moan* K-Kouichi!*moan*" Yuuko um...moaned due...um adult's stuff

"oh Yuuko! Grrr gah!" Kouichi roar for some reason and tried to...um...jump over Yuuko but apparently he stuck in the middle of the jump...yeah jumping

"oh oh oh oh yes!" Yuuko (you know what I'm going)

**_s_o this is the end of the chapter, I'm tired it's difficult to write with a cat on your arms, Chumina (my cat) get off my arm!  
Chumina: meow! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!  
Me: ah Chumina stop!  
Chumina: MEEEEEEOOOW! FU FU!**

**Me: ah! Please review! Only few chapters left!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: ah finally! I'm still up to the neck with crappy homework but hell I needed to update, besides I got distracted with a little white video game machine with the number 360 on it hehe  
UNTIL IT BROKE!!! DAMN!!! STUPID RED RING OF DEATH!!!**

**now enough of my non important life so READ & REVIEW!!!AAAHHHHHH!!!!**

er...I don't remember what was the last chapter*everyone falls/anime style* sorry, em let me see the script of the last chapter*someone hands me over the last chapter* uh-huh...Takuminess....a clown....a rape? I wrote that?...oh yes I did ^_^ okay I remember now so lets see how to begin this chapter...

in a cave on the north pole two people were breeding like bunnies (aka Kouichi and Yuuko)

well after hours of that they were tired and lying on a bed...it appears magically the last chapter yeah

"so...?" Yuuko asked to Kouichi

"so what?" Kouichi

"lets see how your friends are doing" Yuuko suggested

"why?" Kouichi do stupid question

"because I'm paid to take you there so this story can continue" Yuuko replied

"oh ok then....where are my pants?" Kouichi scanned the place

"oh I hide them..." Yuuko made a playful smile

"why you hide them?" Kouichi hide them

"because Kouichi-kun....I want another round!" Yuuko jumped on Kouichi again

"mommy!" Kouichi....I would not describe what are they doing but goes beyond anything I had seen or do

_in another part, Inside a cart of the caravan of the circus mentioned before in the last chapterrrrr....._

"okay Tommy tell me why you fear the clowns that much?" Kouji whispered to Tommy while Crackpot the clown who do crack was driving

"didn't you know idiot, clowns comes from outer space to conquer us" Tommy replied very sure of what he said

"lolwut?" Kouji said in a rare text language

"you heard me, they're aliens and that isn't makeup it is their natural skin color!" Tommy

"kid those are only rumors from other kids or anti-clown movement created by mimes

"hey guys want some crack?" Crackpot the clown offered the boys only shake their heads in denial "suit yourself"

"see they're crazy" Tommy said

"he only offered us crack, that is unusual yes but he's not an alien for that" Kouji said

"hey kids what about some crystal meth!? Crank? Glass? Ice?" Crackpot offered again

"isn't the same as the crack?" Kouji asked but the clown only shrugged (no they aren't)

"I tell you Kouji they're aliens and mimes are too but they're good ones" Tommy said

"don't said stupid things Tommy, mimes....good...pfft, they're boring as hell that is true" Kouji said

"well don't believe me but whe-" Tommy was interrupted by a loud sound of the horse pulling the cart

"what is it Crackpot?" Kouji asked

"we're surrounded" Crackpot voice turned a bit grim

"by who ir what? I don't see nothing" Kouji

"mimes..." with that at least one hundred mimes came out of the woods without making a single noise cuz well they're mimes

"......." a tall mime DIDN'T said

"so you want to fight huh?" Crackpot the clown rose from his seat and unbuttoned his shirt, his skinny figure suddenly change to mass of...muscles and well flesh....24 pack! WTF!

"....." the mime didn't seemed intimidated by this for he has a trick under his sleeve, a invisible wall, the tall mime motioned with hand to the clown daring him to come closer

"as you like pal! YEAH!!!" Crackpot, followed by other clowns charge at the tall mime, behind him other mimes made a movement like they were pushing something, big, heavy, very heavy and apparently very hard

The clowns rushed pulling out their best tricks, the acid spit flower, the retractile boxing glove (ACME) their shoes made a funny sound as they charge against the mimes who were well only smiling because I can't heard any laugh coming from their mouths, anyway the clowns were about to collide with the mimes

"here I come!!!" the muscular clown Crackpot shouted and prepared to strike the tall mime with his head but he only meet another invisible wall, so strong that was able to crack the skull of crackpot who do crack and cracked his mind like this cracked story "GYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHH" yeah he screamed in pain like that movies screams, followed by a "UUUUAAHHH UUUUAAHH UUUUUAAHHHHH...." yeah that must hurt a lot, of course he wasn't the only injured clown many more two cracked their heads and noses, most of them fell unconscious

"Crackpot!!!" Kouji shouted

"no Kouji this is good the mimes will take us with Santa" Tommy

"how? they don't even speak and I still don't believe that about the alien stuff" Kouji said

"I don't care then! You stay here and wait for be eaten alive by clowns I'm going!" Tommy left the cart

"hey Kid wait! Damn you kid! Wait for me!" Kouji followed behind

they ran through the wastes of the battle, some mimes were dead other injured as well as the clowns, but the mimes still were more and were in better condition than the clowns, Crackpot doesn't had other option but to flee from this planet....WHAT!?

"retreat my comrades! Let's go back to _Uranus_!" Crackpot said making Kouji to laugh with his last word

"hahaha _Uranus_ that never gets old! Hahaha" Kouji said "wait a minute it's true then!"

"told ya idiot!" Tommy said as they continued running towards the mimes who greeted them

"wait Tommy I think they still have that wall!" Kouji

"what did you sa-" Tommy crashed on the invisible wall (Karma Tommy hahaha but I don't believe in that) "ouch! Ow ow ow"

"told ya kid haha-" Kouji too crashed with the wall "ouch my nose!"

_not very far from there_

a monster with two heads, four legs, very fat and only two arms was walking on the snow...wait a minute is just Takumi in their shared jacket awww isn't that cute?

"no it isn't, is embarrassing!" Zoe said

"who are you talking to?" Takuya asked

"to the author! Can't you see him?" Zoe said

"nope where?" Takuya

"in the sky you idiot! Can't you see those big blue eyes!?" Zoe pointed at me, stop doing that lady!

"oh I see them now....looks a bit yellowish in the center..." Takuya (really Kanbara? I haven't noticed)

"okay dude, how much for this story ends?" Zoe said to me (I don't know...how about...100 bucks?)

"WHAT!? That's a lot!" Zoe (take it or leave it girl) "okay here's your stupid money!" (hell yeah)

"well end this story now" Zoe demanded (I can't, the readers will kill me if I do it but don't worry Zoe this story will end soon) "I want my money back!" (NO! It's mine now! Mwuahahahah)

"I kill you for this!" Zoe threatened me (yeah sure Zoe)

"okay can we proceed with this story?" Takuya

"sigh...yeah I don't have any other option anyways" Zoe (I win ^_^ and for that I will give you a present!)

"really!?" Zoe said excited (yes the most blackest of the blackest present of all the time...NOTHING!)

"O_o you gotta be kidding me?" Zoe (what? That's what I got in my last Christmas, not even coal)

okay lets continue, the couple-

"we're not a couple!" both said in unison

-okay then, the pair of pubescent kids walked through the snow for various minutes until they saw in the horizon a lot of lights like city lights

"where?" Takuya (just keep walking dammit!) "okay okay"

near the lights they discovered a road, a rail road to be exact, they deducted the train would bring them here if it weren't wrecked, crashed, destroyed. They approached to the small town in a rapid pace but hey stopped when they heard some jingles in the sky, it was the big red fat bastard son of a bitch, aka Santa Claus

"hey look it's Santa" Zoe pointed to him

"crap I don't have my shotgun" Takuya

"I'm gonna talk to him and you're not gonna get near him Kanbara!" Zoe

"hey I got personal things with that dude and no one will stop me to get my revenge!" Takuya said and raising a fist to the sky

"we'll see Takuya..." Zoe muttered

"what did she muttered?" Takuya (none of your concern!!)

_back to the mimes and Tommy and Kouji_

"thank you guys, those clowns were about to eat us alive" Tommy er...was...grateful

"...." a mime just nodded

"okay you were right but what do we do now?" Kouji asked

"hey mimes can you take us with Santa?" Tommy asked

"...." the mime...breath or something

"why? Because he own me some gifts" Tommy

"...." the mime

"what you're not going to take us!? Why not?" Tommy asked (how is he understands him?)

"....."

"you're Santa's spies!? Oh crap!" Tommy

"spies!? What are we gonna do then!?" Kouji asked but the peace and silence of the camp was disturbed by a roar coming from a beast and a butler on it's back

"what was that?" Kouji

"Pierre?" Tommy

"damn you kid! I found you and now I'll kill you!" Pierre threatened with a sharp stick n his right hand

"ROOOOAAARRRR!!!!" Wilson the Yeti roar

"it's Louise idiot!" Pierre (it's the same it's a Yeti)

the mimes quickly use their mime powers to forge some invisible a wall, the Yeti destroyed it with ease due it's super strength, lots of small invisible wall fragments that no one could see fall, some of them stab the eyes of some mimes like glass

"......." a mime opened his mouth in pain

"let's go Tommy! Lets take that invisible rocket car!" Kouji pointed an invisible vehicle...Kouji where is it?

"what car?" Tommy asked (here the same)

"there!" Kouji

"here?" Tommy

"not there, there! Oh geez just follow me!" Kouji take Tommy by his forearm and entered the invisible rocket car which I'm still without see it yet...really where is it?

"you're not going to escape from me!!!" Pierre lunged to the invisible rocket car but was burned when Kouji start the engine, they drive far away and at high speed, their cheeks where on their ears

"slow down!!" Tommy yelled grabbing his seat to not fall back

"I can't! Besides we better keep this speed!" Kouji

"why!?" Tommy

"look behind us!" Kouji said, with that Tommy looked behind them as Kouji suggested and a convoy of

six rocket cars were pursuing them, the pilots were no other than the mimes who worked for Santa

".....!" the leader said with anger, the were very close to Santa's town by now

_back to Takumi_

they had entered the little town, only to discover it was Santa's town, it was very warm so they haven't need to be that close, they sneaked through the town avoiding elves, or trolls or what ever they're called Midgets!

"what are you doing Takuya?" Zoe whispered

"I'm trying to find easy targets" Takuya said while they were behind some bushes

"easy targets?" Zoe

"yeah, we're gonna disguise ourselves as elves so nobody will suspect form us when I enter in Santa's toy factory" Takuya said

"wanna enter Santa's Factory?" a male like thunder voice asked behind them, the pair turned behind them only to see a pair of crimson eyes in a dark alley "I can help you with that"

**oh WTF was that voice!? How is it gonna help Takumi? How Kouji could see the invisible rocket car? Is he the wonder woman!? will my xbox360 get repaired for free or Microsoft will charge me with 150 dollars to a credit card I don't own? This chapter was good? (nope it was bad)  
all this answer may be answered the next chapter oh and Pierre is alive he only had a horrible burn in his face**

**Pierre: aaaahhhhhh my face! Damn you kid!**

**See? He's OK!, so I'll smell ya later people, REVIEW please ^w^**


	12. THY FINALE!

**A/N: do you think I don't have a calendar!? I know it's february! Get your ass over here and do my homework then!  
Zoe: calm down, no need to be mad**

**me: I'M NOT MAD!...it's just...people don't understand...the load of shit I need to do...T_T**

**Zoe: it's okay they don't mean anything**

**me: I'll be in a corner...**

**Zoe: what about the story?**

**Me: I don't care anymore!**

**Takuya: yay no more work!**

**Zoe: yay no more stupid takuminess!**

**Takuya: but I like to be around you**

**Zoe: well I don't so good bye**

**wait a minute!**

**Zoe: who's there?**

**It's me Robo-Jester, I'm a perfect replica of the original one, I'm activated in case of emotional crisis like this one**

**me: shut up!**

**See? Well you two on your post! Everybody ready let's end this NOW!**

**Takuya: it's bossing around like the original**

**Zoe: yah how annoying**

**no more pay checks for you**

**Zoe and Takuya: T_T noooooo!**

The crimson eyes in the alley (wait wait wait! Crimson eyes? How cliché, let's change it to um yellow eyes!)

"you can't do that! You can't change something like this now!" Zoe said (I can and I will*click* there yellow eyes) "fine then, but don't complain when the readers torn you apart" (ain't gonna happen)

the yellow eyes in the alley said "you want to enter to Santa's factory?" the teenagers nodded "well I can help you with that, but with one condition"

"what could that be?" Takuya frowned

"well heh heh" the yellowed eyed creature came out form the dark spot revealing to be "it's me pock-man!"

"wait it isn't pack-man!?" Zoe asked (nope it's pock-man the pirate version of packman, his body is black with yellow eyes and his gloves are blue as well as his shoes) "stupid..."

"well, prick-man you were saying" Takuya

"it's pock man! But yes my condition is...well...I'm very lonely and you're a pretty girl" pock-man clearly wanted something...nasty

"no freaking way dude!" Takuya stepped between Zoe and prick-man I mean pock-man

"what is it Takuya? What does he want?" Zoe asked confused by the intentions of pock-man (seriously Zoe? I mean I think the readers know what that guy wants form you)

"if you don't let me boy, I will not help you to enter Santa's factory!" Pock-man treathened

"I don't care! For all I know you don't know how to enter!" Takuya

"how dare you!? Of course I know how, you take the right corner over there, there's a secret passage under the tree that leads to inside, now you trust me!? Can I have the girl now?" pock-said

"all yours, see ya Zoe I need to kick some ass" Takuya said leaving Zoe and pock-man alone in that alley

"heh heh heh heh" a creepy laugh came from the pirate video game character

"w-wait, what are you planing to do?" Zoe slowly made some distance between her and pock-man

"I want ALL of you" a lustful expression was on his face, he lunged at Zoe and lick her feet

"ah! Disgusting, help! Takuya!" Zoe cried for help, Takuya was around the corner when he heard Zoe's voice

"concentrate Takuya, you must go to the end, she'd stop you anyway" Takuya tought

"Takuya please! Help me!" Zoe

"I must go for my objectives!" Takuya slap his face trying to not turn back but...

"Takuya turn back and help Zoe!"

"who's said that!?" Takuya said

"I said it, the good in you!" a mini-Takuya appeared dressed like an angel on his left shoulder

"whoa! I didn't knew you exist!" Takuya

"yeah I've noticed -_-, you must abandon this campaign against Santa" the mini-angel Takuya said

"but I...he..." Takuya

"no way dude! Santa own us a lot!" another mini-Takuya appeared dressed like a devil

"ah crap you needed to come didn't you?" the angel Takuya said in annoyaince

"it's my job idiot!, now Takuya let's kick some Christmas butt!" the devil Takuya said

"hell yeah let's go!" Takuya said

"wait you idiots! Look Takuya I admit that Santa was a bit...unfair with you but just look at Zoe" angelic Takuya said

"who's Zoe?" the devilish Takuya asked

"the girl who accompanied me all the way here, where you been!?" Takuya explained to his evil part

"I was drunk, now let's see that girl" devil Takuya lift his head to see Zoe being licked in her ankles now and going up (it's rated T but Robo-Jester don't care hahah) "you mean you left behind THAT girl just to get revenge!?"

"well yeah..." Takuya answered a bit confused

"are you an idiot!? Wait of course you're" Devil Takuya think in words, Takuya could understand "look Kanbara, revenge can come and go everyday" Takuya was for first time in his life, attention "BUT a hot girl like THAT! It's a very rare occasion!"

"so...your point is?" Takuya asked and both his angelical and devilish part slap their faces

"GO FOR THE GIRL!" both entities shouted

"but what about the revenge!?" Takuya

"JUST GO!" the devil Takuya used his pitchfork to pinch Takuya's butt and sent him flying to Pock-man

"you're delicious girl" said pock man

"you pervert! Help! Takuya!" Zoe tried to kick pock-man away

"I'm coming!" Takuya said and kicked pock-man off Zoe who as soon got released used the snow to wash the saliva of the perverted creature

"hey we got a deal kid!" pock-man said

"we don't have a thing! Let my girl alone!" Takuya said pounding the videogame character

"you'll pay for this boy!" pock-man ate a rare pill and then "POCKA!" pock-man ate Takuya leaving only his eyes who flied away

"I must find a box or something!" Takuya thought

"well where I was?" Pock-man said approaching at Zoe

"ah no! Go away!" Zoe kicked Pock-man, Takuya found a box and got in, suddenly his body rematerializes to normal

"get off my girl" Takuya once again kicked the round guy away but this time, Takuya kicked the pills too and kicked the butt of pock-man

"no, my weak point!" pock-man body began to disappear with a weird music (game over!) Takuya was panting and sat on the ground, then Zoe suddenly smack him the back of his head

"ouch, why you do that!?" Takuya said rubbing his head

"that's for leaving me with a psycho rapist!" Zoe said but then she hugged him "and this is for coming back" this caused Takuya to be redder than mars (yay Takuminess)

"I...I'm sorry Zoe" Takuya apologized

"thank you but...you just call me your girl?" Zoe asked

"ah!" Takuya froze

_in another place, better said a couple of miles away but coming closer every second in an invisible rocket car_

"yeeeeeeeeeha!" Kouji yelled

"what's wrong with you idiot!? We got crazy mimes behind us and you're enjoying the ride!?" Tommy said

"kid you must enjoy this! I mean when will be the last time you'll see something like this?" Kouji said smiling (for once!)

"I can't see it!" Tommy said

"well but you get the point!" suddenly a mime catch them up with his own rocket car

"......" he said

"the slut who gives birth to you!" Tommy replied (strong words for a kid)

"look Tommy, Santa's village!" Kouji put the pedal to the metal

"we are almost there, finally!" Tommy said, then the mime tackled their rocket car with his "what's wrong with you idiot!? We can die you know?" Tommy said, however the mime do it again

"oh no you didn't" Kouji said and he too tackled the mime with the rocket car and sent the mime to the woods where he exploded, unfortunately Kouji damaged the rocket car "oh crap!"

"what!?" Tommy asked

"we don't have brakes..." Kouji

"I hate you..."

"I hate me too..."

_again in another part -_-_

"are you ready Kouichi-kun?" Yuuko asked to the short haired twin

"yeah...are you sure you don't have an extra snowboard?" Kouichi asked who was embracing Yuuko cuz they were sharing a snowboard

"pretty sure, don't complain hun, besides our little friend seems to like it" Yuuko said noticing a protuberance in Kouichi's pants touching her inner thigh

"well I can't control it..." Kouichi said blushing madly

"well we can have another round" Yuuko said (no no no no! Enough Yuuko, I know you have a tremendous libido but this story needs to end and for that you need to go to Santa's factory) "okay okay...downer" (grrr)

Yuuko and Kouichi snowboarded down the hill outside the cave they've been doing their...things, they were at high speed surfing down, at middle of the hill they saw a hairy figure with a man on it's back, they catch them up but no one said a word only glare at each other, it was Pierre and Louise, Pierre glared at Kouichi and Louise at Yuuko and vice versa, the Yeti was surfing on a snowboard made of mimes, dead ones apparently, they were side to side, as soon as Yuuko crouched a little to gain more speed (and to touch Kouichi's member with her butt on purpose) the Yeti to leaned forward to gain more speed too

"hey dude what a horrible burn you have" Kouichi said to Pierre, then Pierre examined the boy's face and the image of Kouji flashed in his mind

"YOU! I'll kill you for this! You and that damned boy!" Pierre yelled not knowing about the twins

"what!? What have I've done to you!?" Kouichi asked but Pierre only wave is hand at Louise and she tried to make them fall

"hey watch it you bitch!" Yuuko said and Louise growled, no one call her a bitch, she swung he hairy arm again "crap! We must increase speed!" Yuuko said, then in front of them a mountain was walking towards them

"crushing towns, all day long, crushing towns while I sing this song" the granite mountain was there "what is that? Oh snowboarders, oh hoho, I love snowboarders...wait a minute, they come this way! I need to get out of the way!" the mountain ran but never move to a side

"look Kouichi-kun! We can use that mountain as a ramp! Get the pickax just in case we need more speed while climbing!" Yuuko said but the mountain of GRANITE heard this and increased her pace

"oh no you're not going anywhere!" Kouichi said and tied the pickax with a rope and use it as a grip to catch the mountain

"ooooouuuchhh! My eye you stupid dumbf*beep*!" the mountain cried

Louise the Yeti swung again her arm and hit Yuuko, since they were attached to the rope with the pickax stuck in the eye of the mountain they didn't fell but swung around the mountain

"you did it Louise, good job!" Pierre congratulate his lover

"groooaaaarrrr" she said with joy, however Yuuko and Kouichi swung back at high speed, using the snowboard as weapon still attached to Yuuko's feet they kicked Pierre and Louise out of the way

"quick Yuuko release the rope" Kouichi said

"but why?" Yuuko asked

"with our current speed we'll surely be in Santa's factory in no time" Kouichi said, Yuuko released the rope and they flied at high speed towards the factory

* * *

random reader: question! How they knew they'll fly to directly there!?"

me: they knew, they calculated which direction was before go

the same reader: okay but I think Pierre and Louise where in another part very far away from there an-

me: a wizard did it!

Same reader: oh well but what about-

me: look, every time you see something that doesn't make sense is because a wizard did it okay?

Same reader: okay I guess...but in the chapter-

me: WIZARD!

* * *

_Back with Takumi_

Takuya and Zoe where inside the tunnels that pock-man mentioned before, they had a lot of exits with a name on the door but Takuya was looking for a special one, while....HOLDING HANDS WITH ZOE, ZOMG! HOW THE HELL THAT HAPPENED!?

"long story" Zoe said with a smile

"yeah..." Takuya too was smiling (wait no! The people want to know how this happened!)

"too bad for them" Takuya (grrr, rewind!.....play!)

_that part that Takumi didn't want to tell us_

"you just call me your girl?" Zoe asked staring at Takuya's eyes

"ah" Takuya froze when he realized what he do and said "well Zoe you see...I a....you always looked very pretty to me and..."

"it's okay...I'm glad you think that of me" Zoe said leaning her face to Takuya's one

"oh Z-Zoe" Takuya tried to process what was happening

"Takuya..." Zoe pressed her lips against his, both closed their eyes Takuya returning the kiss and his evil and good part do a high five

"that's how you do it big boy!" evil Takuya

"keep it up!" good Takuya

"shut up guys! You're ruining the moment!" Takuya yelled

"who are you talking to?" Zoe said a blushing a little

"er..um..nobody...another kiss?" Takuya said and they kissed again with more passion than the first one (okay fast forward.....play!)

_the present _

okay we saw everything guys, nothing to be ashamed of really, both Takuya and Zoe are blushing madly okay let's continue

"where's that door?" Takuya keep looking

"what door Takuya?" Zoe asked

"the one that says _Santa's office_, it must be here somewhere" Takuya

"found it!" Zoe said

"fantastic" Takuya opened slightly the trapdoor to see if anyone was there "I think it's clear" both entered to Santa's office, they saw his list, the naughty and the nice

"let's see if I'm on the naughty" Takuya searched for his name but found another one first "Zoe!?"

"what is it?" Zoe's eyes grew wide when she saw her name on the naughty list "what how is that possible!?"

"here says...for helping a naughty get to the north pole" Takuya

"what!? That's the most stupid thing I've heard! I'm gonna kill that red bastard!" Zoe grab a letter opener but her hand was suddenly stopped by another one, a big, old, hand

"HOU HOU HOU" Santa laugh in a menacing tone

"SANTA!" Takuya and Zoe yelled, suddenly some magical ropes snared them and tied them to a pair of chairs

"so you really think you can come to my home and get rid of me?" Santa spoke for the first time

"actually...yeah I thought so" Takuya said

"you really thought it gonna be easy!?" Santa asked again

"for moment just a brief moment, yes" Takuya said "wait you can talk!?"

"of course I can! I'm only laughed at your idiotic attempts to kill me before" Santa

"Santa...what are you gonna do with us?" Zoe asked

"a Zoe, it is a shame you turned evil tch,tch,tch...I'm afraid I'd gonna send you with Barney the purple dinosaur" with that Santa opened a door and Barney the dinosaur jumped from it

"I love you!" The dinosaur said

"NO, NO, everything but him!" Takuya tried to fight the ropes as well as Zoe

"I love you, and you love me everybo-" the annoying singing dinosaur was cut off by a rocketcar that stormed in by the window and crashed inside the factory, outside of Santa's office taking the dinosaur with it

"BARNEY!!!!!" Santa cried his name

"let's get out here Takuya" Zoe whispered to Takuya

"right..." they jumped on the chairs trying to escape from the office but Santa stopped them

"what do you think you're doing fellas?" Santa said "now you'll pay for being so naughty"

"whooooooooooohoooooooo!" someone screamed breaking another window this time hitting Santa in the head with a snowboard, it was Yuuko and Kouichi

"hell yeah we made it!" Yuuko said removing her helmet

"hey guys how you doing?" Kouichi asked

"tied? Untie us idiot!" Zoe

"okay okay people, hang in there" Kouichi

"we thought you were a goner for sure" Takuya said and then saw Yuuko "who's the girl"

"that girl is Yuuko and is my...um..."Kouichi hesitated

"I'm his girlfriend! Pleased to meet you!" Yuuko said

"wow that's a surprise!" Takuya said

"same to you guys, we know about you two" Kouichi

"what? When? How!?" Zoe said blushig

"the Robo-jester told us" Yuuko

"but where's my brother by the way?" Kouichi

_in the crash site in the factory_

"ow ouch, my head...." Tommy said getting out of the rocket

"are you okay kid?" Kouji asked

"yeah no thanks to you!" Tommy said

"no wonder why that butler of yours hate you that much" Kouji

"everybody loves me! He love me, my other servants love me too!" Tommy

"sure kid, now where are we...." Kouji scanned the place "looks like we made it Tommy"

"really!?" Tommy too scanned the place "hey you're right, now let's find that fat ass!"

"helloooooooo" a voice said

"who said that!?" Kouji asked

"ME BARNEY!" the dinosaur came out of the debris "I love you-" he was muzzled by Kouji who take a giant candy cane

"shut up! Shut up! You evil creature!" Kouji shouted as he continued striking the lovely purple dinosaur "you*strike* shall not*strike*sing!" Kouji discharge his anger in Barney who was now a pile of sponge and purple cloth

"you finished?" Tommy asked

"no...but I'm tired...I hate that dinosaur" Kouji drop the candy cane

"but what weird elves Santa have" Tommy pointed to the workers in the factory

"those are not elves! They're gremlins!" Kouji said

"grem-what? Why you're so scared, look at them all furry and cute, c'mon boy who's so cute huh?" Tommy approached to one of those furry bastards, the gremlin was all cute but then it bite Tommy's finger "ouch, ow, BITCH!" Tommy kicked the gremlin unfortunately it fell in a drum with water causing it to become more and more, all of them stare at Tommy "hehe sorry want some food?" Tommy threw at them a candy bar

"NOOOOOOO what have you done Tommy!?" Kouji take Tommy and climb up the stairs where the other where

"what!? I just give them food" Tommy said but Kouji only pointed at them, the furry bastards transformed into some disgusting creatures like reptiles but more sticky and drooling and ewww disgusting also they wanted more food...alive food "holy smokes! Get me out here!"

_Santa's office_

"hey guys I didn't knew you where here" Kouji said after entering the room

"hey bro, how are you doing?" Kouichi asked

"fine, fine...oh there's a bunch of hungry gremlins out there by the way" Kouji said

"O_O" everybody stare at him

"oh yeah that's bad I totally forgot it!" Kouji, suddenly a moan was heard

"what's that creepy noise!?" Takuya

"uuuhhh....uuuuhhh...."

"I heard it too!" Zoe said and clung on Takuya for protection (Takumi 4TW)

"uuuhhh....et...ooo...eeee..."

"Takuya, I think you're on Santa's face" Kouichi

"SANTA!?" Tommy said and leaned to the fat man "you bastard! Give my presents!"

"uck...you!" Santa said

"wait Tommy he may know how we stop the gremlins" Kouji

"why we would do that anyway he got it deserved it!" Takuya said also kicking the fat man ass

"you give them food?" Santa said

"yeah!" Tommy

"hahahahahahahahahahahahaha" Santa laugh in haha and no in hoho which is creepy "you all gonna die here!"

"tell us how to stop them or I'll kill you!" Zoe take Santa by the beard

"never...theres no way to stop them...I'll take them all with me!" Santa laugh more when from his sleeve revealed a weird apparatus like bracelet and pushed some buttons "bye bye mwahahahahahahahaha" Santa laugh like Predator

"let's get out here, follow me!" said Yuuko

"wait do you know where you're going!?" Tommy asked

"yeah, I downloaded the blueprints of this place" Yuuko said "c'mon a transport must be near by

they ran as fast as they could, there wasn't any sing of the gremlins but outside the hangar where Santa keep his sleigh was an old woman with some cookies

"hello children want some cookies?" the old grandma which I'll assume is Santa's wife said

"of course!" said everyone in unison

"EXPLOSIVE COOKIES!mwaahahahahah" the granny jump and threw the cookies like shurikens then exploded on contact, the gang managed to evade them but the old woman use another weapon...he plate where the cookies where

"ouch, ow, stop it!" Takuya was being hit for the second time by an old woman

"you'll pay for this kid!" the old woman wasn't a great deal but...you know she's old

"hey you, leave my boyfriend alone!" said Zoe who take a random candy cane knocked her out

"thanks Zoe...you call me boyfriend?" Takuya

"um yeah...that's what we are isn't" Zoe (awww more ah)

"okay I'm sick of this! C'mon you two!" Kouji yelled driving the Santa's sleigh, Takuya and Zoe get onboard as well as the others, they were at high altitude now but not too far from the village, when suddenly Santa came flying with a jetpack

"you'll not escape from the explosion!" Santa still had the bomb bracelet as well as some gremlins munching him, Takuya take a dart gun(not very effective -_-)

"why*dart* you don't* dart* die!?" Takuya said as he shot some darts which only stick on Santa's face

"30 seconds kids hahahahaha" Santa was 2 feet away from the gang, nothing they do seemed to stop him until...

"uh ah uh uh uh ah!?" (hate those kids, hate those pigs, but hey isn't that hot blond!?) the flying monkey was passing by and rushed to Zoe

"Takuya is that horny monkey again!" Kouji said

"wait for him" said Zoe

"what!? Do you want him to hump on your leg again!?" Takuya

"trust me!" Zoe

"okay..."Takuya

"wait for it...wait for it...NOW!" Zoe said and Kouji lower the sleigh, Santa and the monkey crashed with each other, Santa and the monkey fell directly to the factory again

_5...._

_4..._

_3...._

"HOHOHOHOHOHOHO" yeah...laugh idiot

_2...._

_1...._

the explosion was more bigger than a nuclear one, the gang barely made it alive, Takuya take a seat in the sleigh taking Zoe in his lap

"well...I think is over" Takuya

"I'm still angry with you for my grandmother!"

END!

Not really here's an epilogue

_EPILOGUE_

after Santa's death, no one celebrated Christmas, no presents no celebration.....the three wise men expanded their territory beyond Latin America...they're rich now

the mountain made of GRANITE! Forgive Kouichi for stuck a pickax in it's eye after he found it a job as the logo in Paramount studios

Kouichi is still being sexually harassed everyday by Yuuko...she made it legal somehow

Kouji establish an organization called Emos Against Happines...he's the only member by now everyone cut their wrist and died

the rich guy who used to drop his monocle in astonishment was fired and that's why he didn't appear in the end...he bought glasses

Tommy still kick ass of their servants when he returned...they didn't mess with him anymore

Takuya and Zoe were BF and GF for a week...the break uplater...then they come back...then break up again and so again and again mostly due to Takuya's stupidity

**so that's the end! This was Robo-Jester and hope you liked it!**

***doors open* what the hell is going on here!? Who let you out of your box!? And who's the crying dude in the corner!?**

**Takuya and Zoe: O_O three Jesters!?**

**Me: there's only one! This one is my robot one and that guy...who the hell are you!?**

**I'm a hobo using your clothes! See ya later! By the way I fake my crying!**

**Me: I go to the store just for ten minutes, six hours ago! And look at the mess you made**

**robo-jester: I finished your story pal**

**me: good...now die!*blow his head off with shotgun* anything else?**

**Takumi:*shook their heads* **

**me: good, well people this is the END, hope you liked it, thanks to my reviewers**

**blackandblood, don'tchaknowme4life, Kaito Lune, heartbreaker19, utsukushii04, lanski12, gcleemon, Mikiko97, Kimiko Heroux, Alvin Chip, Veemon the ruler, d (who reviewed today) and everybody else who read and didn't review (no hard feelings) thank you all and well hope you liked it, see ya later ^_^**


End file.
